The In-between

A few weeks ago I was at church just worshipping my heart out. All these beautiful lyrics rushing through the crowd, hands raised, just loving all over my God. I always sing with my eyes closed, even when I’m the one on stage, and this time was no different. As I’m swaying along, tears rolling down my cheeks, I had a vision. It was me walking along this very long road. All around me was desolate and barren and the road behind me seemed to have gone on forever. It was brown and bare all around me and I had been walking this path for a very, very, long time with nothing in sight but desert. I felt tired and sick of walking. But when I looked ahead I saw the road getting wider as it led up to a large city. I could see the outline of all these enormous buildings and structures. It seemed to be bustling with life and shone all kinds of beautiful colors that blended together into one big ray of light. There it was, my promise land, and it was beautiful. In the vision I remember feeling like it was so close to me, and yet so far away. I could see that shiny land ahead, full of life, but what was around me was still barren, dry, and felt dead. As I walked I heard the Lord say, “keep going, you’re almost there.” This feeling of excitement rushed over me and I wanted to run ahead, I wanted to just get there already. But I knew in that moment I had longer to travel than I realized and that a steady pace was what would get me there in one piece. So, I kept walking, trusting each step was leading me where I wanted to be. The road wasn’t ending here, but at least I could see where I was going now.

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This vision made me ask the Lord, what’s in between the wilderness and the promise land? That’s my question in this new season I’m in. I walked through the wilderness; starving, thirsty, dirty, isolated, and experiencing divine deliverance along the way. (Good God that was painful, though necessary and beautiful! Thank you Jesus) But now I’m finding myself at the edge of the wild, looking at the promise land, and still having a ways to walk. And even though it feels better than the waste land of desert, it’s still quite dry. So, what’s this space for? What good does it serve me to see my promises ahead, but not be able to reach them yet? And honestly, how much longer do I have to walk? Cause, your girl is pretty sick of this brown, dirty road. And my feet hurt ok?!

In Matthew 4 Jesus goes into the wilderness for 40 days. He’s hungry, tired, thirsty, and probably feeling pretty crappy by the end of that time. We know how it goes, the devil comes and tempts him. Offers Him everything He seems to need or want at that moment. It’s all focused on His weaknesses at the time. He’s hungry, so He’s offered food. He’s thirsty, so He’s offered water. He’s tired, so He’s offered rest. But Jesus answers everything with unwavering faith in God and the word. He resists the devil and stands firm. Ok... but at the very end of this string of temptation, the devil leaves Jesus and in verse 11 it says angels came and ministered to Jesus. Jesus.... needed ministering too. Jesus.

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I think our answer lies, in part, in this verse. After we’ve walked this wilderness, after we’ve fought off the temptations of our weaknesses, we need ministering to. I think part of the wilderness is brining us down to the bare minimum. That season strips and carves out everything that is of us, everything that isn’t good, all the sin, all the self, and leaves us with bare bones. We’re unraveled. If we are indeed at the end our wilderness then we have learned to let God sustain us. We’ve learned to shed ourselves of what isn’t God, and to lean on Him for strength. But at the end of where we were and where God begins there’s an empty space within us. We’re hungry and tired from our journey. That empty space is meant to be filled with God Himself. We get that by surrendering ourself to the Lord and letting our spirit be filled back up with Him and what He has for us. Letting God heal our wounds, feed our empty stomachs, and quench our thirst makes us whole as He intended. All of the world has been stripped of us, and what replaces it is things of the kingdom. Things of Him.

So healing takes place. We’re freed and our chains have been left in the dirt we came from. But we as humans build up survival methods and we get stuck in our ways. I think what happens here in this middle space isn’t just a refilling of us, but another change. Once we get freedom, we have to learn how to walk in it. Its a process. But what starts that new walk is a perspective change. We have to look at things with new eyes, hear things with refreshed ears, and speak with new language. We have to let the ministering change how we act, think, and react to the world around us. We have to learn to be the new version of ourselves that demonstrates Christ. We have to let ourselves submit to a new way, a God way. So that when we get to our promise land we can do the work God has for us. It’s not just about getting there and enjoying the blessings. No, no, my darlings, we have a job to do! After Jesus was ministered to by the angels He went straight into Capernaum and started preaching. Once God had restored all of Jesus weak and needing places, He went to work. He had things to do! And so do we. This space between is preparation to put us to work. To do the assignments God places in us. To walk in purpose and calling. To show His love in everything we do.

On the other side of that is preparation for the blessings ahead. He will bless us in our promise land because of His love for us! Because He wants to and can. In Joshua 5 the people of Israel were finally about to come to their land of milk and honey. They had been walking for 40 years. The oldest generations had died but their children were about to walk into their fathers promise land. But before they could enter God stops Joshua and tells him to circumcise all the men. They had to sacrifice something of themselves to honor the covenant in these Old Testament times, which was circumcision (See Genesis 17:13). Since they’d been wandering all those years, these guys had never been circumcised, and it was law. Plus, you know, God said. So, Joshua obeys the Lord. They rest, healed, and then walked into their blessings stoked as all get out. Frolicking in the pastures and all the good stuff, finally!

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Now, in the New Testament, Jesus comes and walks out the law right? So, this covenant still stands, however its changed since it’s ultimately fulfilled through the cross. Ok.... bear with me here, its a good point! So, in Romans 2, Paul is talking about circumcision and how being physically circumcised was no longer the point. That they needed a circumcision of the heart. Which takes me to Deuteronomy 30:6 “Moreover, the Lord your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your descendants, to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, in order that you may live.” Circumcision of the heart is all about stripping your inner man (or woman) of anything and everything that is not from or of God. It’s letting Jesus come in, clean house, and bring you back to that pure, whole, and free person He intended you to be. The best version of you. Walking in life. And when God offers life, its abundant life. The promise of abundance alone is insane if you really take a moment to think about it. Abundant life.....It’s offering yourself up to the Lord and sacrificing your will for His. And basically you will find yourself ultimately living your best!

Does this sound familiar? All this pruning and crushing that seems to have been going on as we’ve walked the last few months. God has been going into the deepest places within all of us and revealing what needs to go. He’s been circumcising our hearts. Preparing us for our promise land. Because the stuff that He’s been taking off can’t come with us there. We need to be cleaned up from the long, hard journey of the wilderness. We’ve been walking a long time, building up defenses, walls, coping mechanisms, and habits to make the road less difficult, the pace a little faster. We’ve been hiding behind masks and doing everything we can to not look at what’s really slowing us down. Maybe God wants to bless you with financial freedom, but you’re terrible with money. Maybe He wants to give you the marriage you’ve always dreamed of, but you’re too afraid to believe for it. Maybe He wants to give you a position of leadership, but you can’t manage time well enough to take on the responsibility...... you can’t take that with you. Whatever it is that’s waiting in your promise land, whatever blessing God is waiting to pour out for you, you have to be ready to handle it. Blessings take strong shoulders. They’re not light. Anointing takes crushing. Oil doesn’t come without it....

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Now that we’re almost there, now that we can see the promise land with all it’s shiny lights and colors, we need a good bath, some fresh clothes, and a new perspective. This middle ground between the wilderness and our milk and honey, is simply the time to get ready. Perspective is the beginning of change. And by the time we reach the gates, we’ll be clean, smelling fresh, and dressed to the 9s. We’ll be able to carry the blessings God has for us there. And in doing so, in taking good care of what He gives us, we’ll be honoring God. And glorifying Him. That’s part of our job after all. Our lives and how we live are are greatest ministry. How crazy cool is God!?

For me, changing my perspective starts with asking for help. Asking God to show me what He sees, what He hears, and what He has to say about it. It’s me feeding more wood onto the fire of my faith with the word and things like worship. It’s standing on the impossible in trust that God will do what He said. It’s also about what i say. What I declare with my mouth. There’s power of life and death in the tongue (Proverbs 18:21), so I speak life and truth over my walk, and about myself. And its in the idea of finding gratitude in my heart for what I already have. A heart of thanksgiving is a powerful thing. Philippians 4 says not to be anxious but thankful and you’ll find the peace of the Lord. So when I have gratitude for my present, I’ll find more peace in my walk towards the future. As I put these things into practice, I can feel the change of perspective happening. The days aren’t so stressful. The apocalypse of our world isn’t so heavy. I can breath a little easier and trust God a little more. Walking the last bit of wasteland before the promise doesn’t feel so much like a “have to” but a “get to”. I get to walk into my blessings. I get to walk into my purpose. I get to be authentically me, healed, and free. Suddenly the road to travel doesn’t seem like such a long way anymore and now I get to be excited. Maybe the reason I get to see the promise ahead, other than just being prepared, is to get excited. To put a little more pep in my step as I keep traveling. Maybe its really that simple. Because seeing some of what’s up there, did give me a new anticipation! So, I'll keep walking. And now I cant wait to see what’s on the ther side of those gates! I'm coming promise land..... I'm coming!