Fear Lies

Fear has a way of fooling us into a false sense of security. Most of us have been operating in fear for so long that it feels familiar and safe. It’s become our second nature and “part of how we work”. We call it all kinds of things; cautious, being a planner, prepared, even logical. All of these thing have a place in our lives, sure. But as believers who have been freed and made new, none of these should describe how we live this life. Nor how we operate. But fear is a tricky thing. It takes on so many forms of existence we believe serve us. It morphs into something that we can easily mistake as ours. Something that feels secure.

Fear is a liar.

I always thought I was a fairly fearless woman. Ive faced some pretty hard stuff with courage. It scared me, but I did it anyway. I’d label myself brave and wear it like a badge. Look at me go. God has spent some significant time healing me of unworthiness, being enough, and being deserving of love. He’s worked hard holding my hand through that healing and helping me to see myself as He does. Facing some of what caused that was really scary. But I trusted God was in that with me. I’d sit in the little room that is my pastors office and I knew God was right there ready to pick up my heart when it felt like it was breaking. I trusted I could face those fears because it was controlled and God never fails. All that’s great. And maybe even brave of me to face what hurt so I could heal. But when the controlled environment was gone, when my deliverance was in the field walking out the freedom..... well that was a lot scarier. And while God was and is still in those moments, other people getting access to what I was afraid to lay bare..... turns out is terrifying. So I guess I’m not as fearless as I thought. And I realized that I was holding on to certain fear because it felt like protection. Fear was my shield. A very broken, unproductive, lousy shield.

You see, fear is good at deception. It tells us we’re safe with it. That it’ll keep the soft parts of us sheltered from harm. And maybe it’ll keep the “scary” things out for a time, sure. But what it ends up doing is poisoning our hearts from the inside. It isolates us in darkness and calls it glory. Fear keeps us chained to one space, no room to run, no room for freedom. It masquerades as secure. But really it keeps us from life. In fear all we really find is death. The moment fear knocks, it doesn’t feel that way to us though. As a matter of fact, so much of what we experience in life is done through a lens of fear. So to be honest, fear seems friendly and comfortable. It comes with a smiling face and a safety plan. It probably even has bullet points. We often think its normal even so we allow it to stay. We allow ourselves to operate out of it thinking it’ll shelter us from what will hurt. And in the moment, it seems to work. We can avoid the immediate threat we’re afraid of. But over time what that fear did wasn’t protect us, but instead restrict us, poison us, and take our life and blessings.

I’ve learned that what scares me usually isn’t a threat at all. My reaction might indicated the contrary. And I might feel fear. But that fear isn’t really me. It’s not really mine. I’ve learned that when something scares me, it’s usually the enemy trying to keep me in chains. Trying to keep me from abundance and blessing. Trying to keep me from believing what God said. He knows that if I face my fear, if I allow freedom, if I follow Gods will, I’ll find life and prosper into a place that glorifies God. I’ll end up in a place of blessing with answered prayers and dreams coming true. Our enemy doesn’t want that. He wants us alone, scared to trust, and pretending we’re ok with it. And he surely doesn’t want us to experience things like joy and happiness. So he brings fear to try and fool us that taking risk isn’t worth it. He deceives us into believing fear will protect us. So really, he’s the one that’s afraid. And most of the time what we feel is a projected version of what scares him.

So what do we do?

I can only teach you as I experience things in life. My “ministry”, if you will, is entirely written from, and formed out of what I walk out. And right now, my field test of freedom from fear of being worthy, good enough, and deserving of love is being tried. I’m face to face with the option of running with fear, or walking with God. And let me tell you, its not been easy. I got really scared. I cried for a few days and I found myself instinctually partnering with fear. Terrified that what I want, what I believe God said was mine, won’t come. For a little bit there I let fear “comfort” me and start laying out an exit strategy to keep me safe. It was so easy to do as we had danced that dance many times. I knew all the steps. I knew every drop of the beat and exactly what to expect. It was my old familiar friend here to bring me what I knew, help me out, and dance me right out of the danger zone.

That was until God got louder than my fear. He reminded me of all the work I put into freedom from the lies fear was speaking. He reminded me of just how powerful His love is. He reminded me of all the promises He’s made me and how faithful He is. And He gave me an option. I could keep dancing with fear or I could break up with it and trust Him. The obvious choice is to partner with God, to trust Him and flee from fear. But fear is comfortable and I know what to expect. Stepping onto the stage with God means to face the unknown in a way that scares me. I can’t see where we’re going, there are no steps to follow, I don’t get to lead, heck I can’t even pick the music. It’s asking me to completely surrender to Him and what He wants to do. It’s asking me to have unabashed, unwavering, full on crazy faith. And as a real human being with a lot of feelings, that’s scary as all get out.

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I sat down to look at my fear. What exactly am I afraid of?

I’m afraid of not being good enough to be chosen.

I’m afraid of not being loved for who I am.

I’m afraid of not being good enough to be wanted.

I’m afraid of being passed by and God not keeping His promises to me.

I’m afraid to get my heart broken.

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All of these fears have been backed up and validated by life experiences from my past. All of these fears have been played out in the field as being “true” things to be terrified of and to protect myself from. Because of my past and what I’ve experienced I have every reason to be full on afraid and run in the other direction at the first sign of danger. No one would blame me. As a matter of fact they might even call it smart to do so.

But God.

God has spent the last 4 plus years of my life addressing these fears head on. He’s spent countless hours pulling out the deep roots of these fears and their aftermath. He’s taken the time to pursue me, choose me, want me, and make His love known to me. All of these fears may be valid in the world, but they’re irrelevant in the kingdom of God. All of these fears may have existed to my old self, but when I chose to follow God, give my life to Him, that old self no longer existed. And my new self, my new nature, has no need for fear or its false comforts. My mind knows this. My heart needed some reassurance. So I decided to kick fear out and do what I know to do to stand against its lies.

1. I started praising. I started thanking God for a victory I can’t see, but I believe is coming. Because that’s who He is. He wins wars while I battle with praise. It sounds cliche, but it’s true. So my hands went up, my voice got louder, and I proclaimed the promises He gave me as if they’ve already happened. God says that in our praise and gratitude we can bring Him any request and that He will guard our hearts as He answers it. Philippians 4:6-7 niv Do not be anxious about anything but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

2. I started reading the words God gave me, remembering my testimonies of freedom, and recounting all the miracles He’s already done in my life. He healed the broken woman I was after a life of abuse and chaos. He healed my daughter from a dying in the womb. He healed my physical body. He delivered me from a man that shattered me and made me a brand new woman as if I’d never been touched. He answered prayers I cried alone in my closet. He pursued me, chased me down, and showed me love I’d never known in my life. I was a broken mess of a woman... abandoned, hurt, and hard.... and He thought I was good enough to be loved. He promised me a new life. He promised me abundance and peace. He promised me restoration. And He always keeps His word. Deuteronomy 31:8 niv the Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave or forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Isaiah 41:10 niv So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand. 1 John 4:18 niv There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. Psalms 34:4 niv i sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

3. I repented. I asked God to forgive me for partnering with fear and I made a choice to trust that no matter what God did, no matter what happened, that He would hold me. That even if my heart got broken, even if what I thought would happen didn’t, God would take the pieces of my heart and heal me all over again. I made the choice to believe that God is who He says He is. That He is faithful, loves me, and keeps His word. Because after all this time, He has proven to me that He is my God. Not only my God but my healer, my savior, my redeemer, my promise keeper, and my hero. I can’t fail when I put my trust and faith in Him. He’s already shown me that. And no amount of lying fear changes who He is. Psalms 56:3 niv when I am afraid, I put my trust in you. Psalms 118:6 niv the Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? Isaiah 41:13 niv For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do to fear; I will help you.

4. I got mad. I got mad the enemy was trying to steal my blessings. I got mad he thought he could defeat my God. I got mad he thought I’d just lay down while he attacked people I love and tried to hurt us. And when I got mad, I found myself standing strong and firm. YOU CAN’T TELL ME MY GOD WONT DO IT. Joshua 1:9 niv Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

The Bible uses the phrase “do not be afraid” 365 times. Three hundred and sixty five times! God seems to be pretty clear that He’s got our backs and that we don’t have to fear anything. In the NIV version of the Bible love is mentioned 551 times. So I’d say its pretty clear He loves us. (Perfect love casts out all fear remember?) Guys, I get it.... fear is loud. It makes a lot of noise. And in some areas, it’s deep rooted and really big. But the one thing I know, is that God is bigger. He really is. And when we partner with Him, with heaven, we can’t lose. Fear really is a liar. It only wants to discourage you from the life, love, and blessings God wants to give you. So yea, maybe its scary to face those fears. Maybe its hard. You might shake, your palms might sweat, you might even have to fight the urge to run. But I KNOW that what is on the other side of fear, is life. The God kind. And when we trust Him fear has to bow down. It can no longer speak. And that my friends, is when the real miracles happen.

Be fearless. Even if its scary. Because its worth it.

Romans 8:28 niv And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

2 Corinthians 9:8 niv And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.