Expect What Exactly?

“Expectation feeds frustration. It's an unhealthy attachment to people, things, and outcomes we wish we could control; but don't.”  

I am the worst sometimes when it comes to making up my own expectations. I create scenarios in my mind of how I think things should go, or what things will look like. And when that doesn’t happen, I find myself very frustrated and sometimes heartbroken. It’s honestly the most ridiculous thing. But I still do it from time to time. I’ve learned over my years not to actually hold others to my expectations, they didn't cause the downfall of my extravagant illusions after all. But that doesn't stop me from creating my own pain there. So, I'll often suffer in silence while I attempt to talk myself off the self-inflicted cliff moment. Again, it’s ridiculous and I know it. I try really hard to stop myself from doing it, but sometimes it just happens anyway. I have to work diligently to keep my thoughts from wandering and from creating a place of disappointment where it doesn't need to be. I sure do love to daydream. However, things will be what they’ll be and I should accept that. But for someone like me that not only wants to know what's coming, but struggles to not control it, that's hard stuff. There is hope for those who create their own frustrations like I do. Jesus. We can find peace in Him and the plans He lays out for us. But in order to make that a reality we have to let go of control. I know what you're thinking, that's coconuts. And honestly, I get that response entirely! I have a really hard time giving up control and letting God do His thing. I will often give things to Him and maybe even let Him keep them for a while. But there usually comes a point where things start to vary from what I thought would happen. I panic and then snatch the situation right out of His hands as if I can somehow manage it better than Him. Now that’s coconuts! (I don’t know who I think I am sometimes!) Thankfully He is a God of grace. And when that fails, because it always does, He graciously allows me to give it all back and surrender again. I have to continually remind myself that He is way better at making plans for me than I am. He thinks of things I don’t. He can see traps laid ahead of me that I'm blind to. And if I'm going to be truly transparent, He knows the areas of my heart I refuse to look at that need healing. Areas that would cause me to stumble or even mess up the good things ahead of me. Giving Him control is always the better option. Though, admittedly, it's not always the most comfortable. I like to know what's ahead of me.   But creating my own expectations robs me of more than just knowing what‘s ahead. It dilutes my relationship with the Lord. If I always know what's coming, I won't turn to Him for guidance. Why would I need to ask for answers if I already have them all? The truth is, I wouldn’t. He often times will give us pieces to the puzzle of our lives so that we continually talk to Him and seek revelation of what to do next. Everything God does is centered on relationship. He wants us to know Him and for Him to show us He knows us. If I make my own plans, not only will I end up frustrated, I’ll be missing out on the beautiful friendship He wants to have with me! I’d be missing amazing conversations filled with stunning revelation and love. So not only do I actively harm my own heart through my self dreamt expectations, I end up deprived of the most important relationship in my life! That’s not worth it. And if you couple that with the frustration of my failed expectations, I'm losing more than I can honestly afford! Nothing is ever worth forfeiting my relationship with God!   Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, ”plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”   The word talks about expectancy in a lot of ways. And seems to encourage us to expect things. Psalms 5:3 says, ”In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.” Cool. Ok, so does that mean I can just tell God what I want and that He’s going to just hand it to me? Well, not exactly. God says He will give us the desires of our hearts. We all love to quote the verse about it, “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your hearts.” (Psalms 37:4). Sounds so easy and simple like He's just going to dish out whatever we want or ask. But in our quoting of this verse are we taking the whole thing in, or just skimming to the part we like? It says DELIGHT IN HIM. And if we keep reading on to verse 5 it says to commit our ways to the Lord. Well, the ways of the Lord are not our ways. So, unless our desires line up with His, we can kiss that request goodbye. And there's good reason for this! It's because our hearts deceive us. Our fleshly ways cause us to stumble. And God is not in the business of letting His kids hit the ground face first. He wants the best for you! And if you haven't figured it out by now, His ways are best. Not ours. So, if we want God to give us the desires we ask for, we better be willing to get into the mind of God and let Him change our hearts so our desires line up with the goodness of who He is and what He wants for us. Those are the desires these verses are talking about. We should probably stop asserting our own understanding of them and let Him make the path. We should probably let Him change us so our will starts to look more like His. That's where we’ll find the things that will make us happiest and full of the abundance of life the Bible promised. We have to let God change our hearts and minds to look more like Jesus. Then our desires will be fulfilled. There’s nothing wrong with wanting things and having desires. Not at all! Desires are what drive our lives forward and give us room to dream! But when God is dishing out blessings, He’s not thinking about what we want, He’s thinking about what we need. What's the best for us. What will help us grow into purpose, peace, and a life of freedom. He truly does know what is going to fulfill us and that’s what He looks to give us. Fulfillment!  

None of this is to say we aren't allowed to have expectations. Quite the contrary! We should have them and stand in faith God will show up. But our expectations need to be based on what He says. On the promises He makes us. They should stem from a changed heart and mind that reflects the will of the Father. We need to lay down our ideas of what things should be, and let Him make up the lists. Let Him show us what to expect and what to move towards. The word is full of things to expect and pray in to. But in your personal relationship with the Lord you can ask Him what to expect. You can ask Him what you should hope for, pray for, look for in the future. He loves to talk to us. And He loves to help us along. So, don’t be afraid to ask! Don’t be afraid to lay your heart down and send up your requests. But I should caution you that His answers may not be what you thought. He may ask you to give people up, to walk away from jobs, to completely change the course of things ahead of you. You have to be willing to let go of that control we talked about. And you have to be willing to trust that He knows what's best, that He knows what He’s doing. It might not be what you thought you wanted, but it will always be what you need. And when those expectations become realities, you’ll be thankful you let Him make the plans. That I know without a doubt.   I am learning not to hang my expectations on what I think I want. And I'm learning to let God make up the paths for me and what to hope for. Its something that I work on every day with trust that Gods plans are best. Im not perfect at it, and you shouldn't expect to be either. But I have figured out it's worth it to try. Its worth it to surrender. Theres peace in that place. And more understanding of what life should be. Theres room to dream for the right things. The things that will make you happy and give you the life you deserve. We should expect things in God, but we should allow Him the opportunity to tell us what expectations are for us, and which will hurt us. He really does just want to bless us, love on us, and pour out His goodness. But He will only do it to the degree that we let Him.

Here's a list of things the word tells us to expect just in case you need some encouragement as you wait on your personal answer. These are for all of us! And these are promises we can rely on no matter what!   You can expect for God to be your shield: Psalms 84:11, Psalms 18:2 You can expect for God to help: Psalms 54:4, Psalms 13:5-6 You can expect God to go with you: Deuteronomy 31:8, Deuteronomy 31:6 You can expect God to provide: Philippians 4:19, 2 Peter 1 1:3   You can expect God to love you: Deuteronomy 7:9, Galatians 2:20