Don't They Know What They Do?!

I’ve been feeling sorry for myself lately. So many years I wasted building up the wrong ones. So many years I was abused and hurt by the hands of people that were supposed to love me. I’ve been beaten by lovers, cheated on, neglected, abandoned, mentally torn apart, even sexually abused. So many years I hoped for change. So many years I waited for rescue. So many years wasted just to watch those that hurt me prosper while I struggled to survive. I’m still struggling. I had to start over a couple years ago, on my own with 4 kids, and I’m barely starting to get my head to water level. But the ones that broke me seemed to be handed everything I had wanted. They got their partners while I stayed alone. They got promotions and better paying jobs while I barely could make ends meat. They got new cars while I drove ones that barely kept moving. They seemed happy while I was crying myself to sleep at night. It’s not fair. And if I’m going to be real it made me angry. Super, super angry. So I let myself slip into self pity. Why me God? Where are you? Why do they get what they want and I’m stuck struggling? I started to think I was doing something wrong. I beat myself up for a while and then came to the conclusion that I was simply "bearing my cross”. That this was my burden for the kingdom; to get beat up time and time again. Maybe God wanted it this way.

Lies.

None of that is Jesus. None of that is biblical. And none of that is right. Did they do me wrong? Yes. Do they deserve what they have? Probably not. But who am I to not only sit here and judge what they do and do not deserve, but to feel sorry for myself over it? And who am I to think I deserve it more? The Bible doesn’t say things will be fair. As a matter of fact, it says things will be hard and most likely unfair. Blessed are those who are persecuted in the name of the Lord and all that. We’re going to face hardships at the hands of others. And there may be many times that its done without apology or change. There may be many times we never see them get what they do deserve. And it isn’t going to be an easy thing to bear unfortunately. As a matter of fact its going to be hard.

If we look at the life of Jesus he was accused, beaten, persecuted, hated, mistreated, betrayed, called names, and crucified. Man did they hate Him. But through all that do we once see Him throw His arms up and say how unfair it is? Do we see Him pouting in a corner having a pity party over what was done? No. No you don’t. When Judas was about to betray Jesus, what did Jesus do? He had dinner with Him. He ate with the one who was going to have Him crucified, told him to do his work quickly, and kissed his cheek. Jesus didn’t hate him for what he was going to do. He didn’t stop him. He just loved Judas. When Jesus was crucified, did He scream at everyone and tell try to tell them He was there to help? Did He cry for Himself and talk about how unfair it was? No. He took it. He let them beat Him beyond recognition. He literally carried the cross to the place He would be put to death. And when He hung on that cross, He cried out to God to forgive them. There was no anger or animosity. There was so self pity. There was no retribution. Jesus loved those that hurt Him unrelentingly. He prayed for them and didn’t judge them. None of which was because He wasn’t strong or worthy of being stood up for. None of which was because He deserved what He got. He wasn’t a coward or spineless. He was pure love.

So why was Jesus so ok with all of this? We want to say it’s because He knew the plan of God or was faithful. And sure, that’s true. But the greatest lesson to take from all of this is to understand that Jesus knew His life was not His own. He lived to glorify the name of God. He lived to bring the Kingdom to earth. He was love. His identity wasn’t wrapped up in what others did to Him or how much they liked Him. His identity was found in God. His creator and Father. So there was no offense too great. There was no reason to be hurt by their words or deeds. How could He be offended when He knew He belonged to God? When He knew that those who hurt Him were confused in their own identity? He couldn’t be. Because He was love manifest in flesh.

---

When we come to God, when we really sell out and live for Him, suddenly the things others do to us don’t matter. It’s easy to forgive what they do because we find our worth, our value, and our identity in God. We no longer belong to ourselves, so we don’t need to carry what others do. When we are hurt by their hands we can look at the situation with loving eyes and remember that they’re sinners just like us, in the need of help. In need of love. We can find it in our hearts to forgive because we were forgiven. We can look at them with the eyes of Jesus and understand that they know not what they do. Because at the end of the day, we belong to, and live for our creator and Father. Just like Jesus. We can hang on our own crosses and cry out for them knowing that God has the final say on who we are. We can be love.

But we don’t do that do we? Mostly no. We get hurt and we attach that to who we are. We allow the pain others caused to scar us, change us, and bring fear in us. We hate certain places because it happened there. We wont go to certain areas because we have memories there. We shy away from people because of what we know they did. We get mad that we don’t see revenge on their actions. We hold on to it and make it a part of who we are instead of giving it to God and letting Him heal those wounds. We have a tendency to want God to swoop in and make it right or “give them what they deserve”. We make that pain and the transgressions against us part of our identity. It’s so wrong. And its so not Jesus. But we do it anyway. Even as God fearing Christians.

But what if we didn’t? What if we let it go, moved on, forgave, and let God tell us who we are? What if we learned how to walk it out like Christ so that no offense is allowed to seep into our identity? What if we acted in actual God like love? Because we can. We weren’t called to carry all that. And by doing so we’re saying that the cross, all that Jesus did, wasn’t enough. We’re saying that we wont love like Him. And that, by the way, is the only command Jesus gave us. Love our God and love each other. THAT’S ALL WE HAVE TO DO. That’s it. That’s our goal in this life. Love. Not get revenge. Not judge. Not condemn. Not get offended. Just love. The world will tell us that we should carry all the baggage from what others did. That we should be hurt, seek revenge, and that we’re entitled to carry the pain. But honestly, how does that serve us? I mean, I get it, it sucks when someone hurts you. I’ve had my fair share of pain caused by others. But wouldn’t we find more peace in our lives if we didn’t have to be offended or hurt? If we could let it slide off our shoulders and right into the hands of Jesus? That sounds way better to me than to let hurt dictate my identity and cause me lasting pain. That sounds better than being angry. Doesn’t it?

I decided to stop my pity party. Yea, life can be unfair. Yea, people can be mean. And I personally am always surprised by just how cruel they can be. BUT THE GOD OF THE UNIVERSE BECAME A MAN, DIED ON A CROSS, AND THEN CALLED ME HIS DAUGHTER. If I am willing to really grip onto that, like REALLY believe it, I know I’ll find myself less offended and more willing to love. That’s my goal anyway, to love like Jesus. To die to myself, including my hurt, and love like Him. And again, if I’m real, I’m tired of carrying all this crap. I’m tired of being angry and letting others pain and actions cause me to step outside of my God given identity. I’m tired of being offended and unforgiving. All I’m doing is hurting myself. And its not at all who I was made to be.